My summer
and the strange weather seem to match me perfectly as I’m slowly recovering
from my last breakdown, it was a really rough one and I seem to be doing better
one day at a time. I finally am using the local Healthy minds service, I’ve
just finished the 2nd session and I’m still not sure about the
service as I’m not keen on the interpreter I have. I have requested to change
interpreter after the 1st appointment but still had the same one for
the 2nd apt which make it difficult for me as I feel that things I
am trying to say are often lost in translation.
This is a
real life example:
Therapist:
‘how are you feeling today? Could you find one word to describe your mood today?’
Me: 'I’m struggling
to find the right word so i would say I feel like Deirdre if you get what I mean, I
just feel like me’
Interpreter:
‘Deirdre’
Therapist:
* looking confused* ‘Yes, but
how are you feeling?’
Me: ‘I
can’t find the right words to describe how I feel so I picked Deirdre as I feel
it sums me up’
Interpreter:
‘I find it difficult to describe how I feel’
Therapist:
’try to find one word’
Me: ‘I did
say my one word is Deirdre, * muttering to myself- for fucks sakes* I feel sad ok,’
Interpreter:
‘sad’
So this ‘lost
in translation’ carried on for the rest of the appointment, which just made me
feel frustrated and pissed off with the communication issues. I was not able to
make my thoughts and feelings clear and the therapist was not able to
understand me.
I got
rather frustrated at the last appointment and told the therapist (who is lovely
by the way) that I wanted someone who understood my background, my culture
& community and could sign to me without a need for a third person. The interpreter translated this into me
having issues with being deaf…
Why can’t
some sign language interpreters admit when they are out of their depth and give
the job to someone else they know will suit me better?
FOR THE LOVE OF MOTHERFU..
How is this
helping me to achieve a healthy mind when a bar of chocolate and a cup of
decent coffee could do the job in 2 minutes!
Don’t let
my experiences put you off if you are thinking of using the healthy minds
service, every service is different.
I am aware
that some people might be thinking ‘ why doesn’t Deirdre just go for the BSL
Healthy Minds service from Sign Health’.
Well…
1. My GP won’t refer for the service
unless I complete the local healthy minds with an interpreter and have a
statement from the therapist saying I would benefit better from a BSL service.
2. I have contacted my nearest BSL
healthy Minds service and asked for help to get me referred to the service I
need, they was rather unhelpful despite my university mental health service
contacting them asking for advice on how to support me and to get a referral to
the right services for me. This went back and forth for a year, which meant I
gave up.
So sadly my
experiences with mental health services has not been that great, I know other
deaf people whose experiences had been excellent and they are feeling much
better.
One day I
will have the BSL service I need and I will have a positive experience with the
service.
UPDATE:
The bit
above was written around late August and I thought I would add on an update.
I have had
3 sessions so far and all with the same therapist and interpreter. I am getting
more and more frustrated at times because I have to slow down and sign in SSE if I want
the interpreter to translate what I am signing. I have asked for a change in
interpreters but it doesn’t seem to bloody happen.
My last
appointment was me basically being frustrated and tired of thinking of what to
say in English so the interpreter can't get it wrong as at times I just want to be pure BSL and the therapist to get it without
the interpreter losing the initial meaning when interpreting.
Another
real life example-
The
therapist told me that I should celebrate every achievement from getting out of
bed to doing the washing up like having a cupcake, going to the cinema, getting
a new pen etc.
I did this
for a while but I was getting bored of celebrating son thought i would bring it up in the next appointment, so I explained to the therapist that I was getting tired of celebrating every time I achieved something and
could I do it in one big celebration end of the day or week with a reward to
make it more fun.
She looked
confused and told me she didn’t mean to celebrate after every achievement but
to do so end of the week or a very difficult day. I glared at the interpreter
and thought to myself ‘thanks the fuck I didn’t take the cupcake reward
suggestion too seriously.’
It would
have gone like this: -
Got out of
bed- yay one cupcake for breakfast!
Took a
shower- yay another cupcake!
Put clothes
on- whee another cupcake
Replied to
messages/emails- another fucking cupcake
You can see how it would have ended- me being a stone heavier in one week!
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| Skull tealight holder (Paperchase) |
Fact: I like candles, I have too many and I never seem to chuck away the empties.
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| A snazzy shot |
